Dear Oprah,
I didn’t get a response from you for my fierce birthday spectacular sponsored by Seventeen magazine, Elite Model Management, and COVERGIRL so I figured it must’ve been lost in the mail right grlfriend ‘cuz I know you wouldn’t be treatin’ me like that afta all we been thru. Aw, that’s just my ghetto side coming out; you know how it goes. Remember that time when we went to Detroit together and I saved you from that bullet and then you pulled off your earrings and your shoes and got ready to slap a bitch but I held you back because that’s what friends do? yeah, our ghetto sides came out then but you gotta know how to turn it off when you’re modeling…or hosting talk shows like us. We do that. We’re like, the same. We’re fierce.
Speaking of talk shows, don’t you love that ours are back to back? It’s because we’re besties I’m sure. You know, we share fans. It’s like two hours straight with sisters. Sistas. We can’t forget that we’re pioneering our industry as black women. If your network is working you too hard, there’s a spot at CW for you. You know you’re always welcome on my couch or you could have me back on yours whenever you want. Remember when you had me on a few months ago and I talked about my abusive boyfriend? Yeah, I shared that secret with you because I know what good friends we are. I trust you a lot. It feels like it’s been forever since we got to hang out. O, dear, where have you been? Probably busy I guess.
I’m busy too, you know. We both have our shows of course, and we both produce movies, and I do what I can to help out the community you know. We talk about the real issues. I’m sure you watch so you know. Remember when I did the spot on sexting and teens? And when I scared those women into living better lives by showing them ugly pictures of their future selves? Dr. Phil wouldn’t even dare go there. Oh! And remember last Christmas when I stole your idea for a show where I give presents to people for the whole hour? That went well I think. Some were embarrassed that I made them wear the unemployed t-shirts but I mean, at least everyone knew that they deserved it. And I even made one of my top models dress up like you and pose. You’re so photogenic! We’re practically the same. Really. I just want to be you, I mean, be close to you. We just have so much in common that it’d be a waste not to get together sometime and look and my old headshots or something. I can show you how to keep those pounds off.
I just want you to consider this your personal invite. I’ve delivered it right to your address to make sure you got it this time. I’m sure there was just some kind of misunderstanding, you’d never ignore me Oprah, I know. I love you, too. I really do. Maybe you want to meet for lunch or coffee or something before the party sometime? We can share tips on gaining power through media. I can help you with your walk. Honey, you’ll be fierce! 

Sistas 4 Lyfe
Tyra

P.S. Go ahead and bring Stedman if you want or even Gail if you prefer (and oh girl, I know you’d prefer ;).  I love her too.  She can be the third leg on the catwalk of friendship. )

P.P.S. I know we didn't get to actually go on that Detroit trip, but I had set it up with some old friends to have it go down like that.  I could've saved your life.  I don't know why you backed out at the last minute.